From where we left off

Another short post from me this week as the job’s still tiring me and I have less time. I may not be able to take part in WIPpet Wednesday for a while – definitely not next week anyway as my work days are changing and I’m gonna be working on Wednesday next week.

As with last week, I will comment on as many of all your lovely posts as I can. Thank you all for your comments re marketing last week – at the very least it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with it.

I’m doing OK with my editing of Teaching Mr Leavis, my current WIP – or rather a rewrite. I just have a thought about it: I’ve had some comments from people along the lines that Jonathan, the antihero hero of the story is quite domineering. And yes to a certain extent he’s meant to be. But at the same time I want my heroine Rebecca to come across as strong enough to stand up to him.

Maybe I’m not making her as strong a character as she could be, especially when it comes to her interaction with Jonathan and I do want her to be tough in her relationship with him. Any thoughts on this appreciated!

So on to the main event: the excerpt I’m sharing is from Teaching Mr Leavis again and takes place a few paragraphs on from last week’s excerpt. Rebecca is surprised and shocked to see Jonathan, who she recently split up with, at her dad’s party. Now she’s talking to her sister Maria and their brother’s partner Linda. Rebecca is none too pleased with the direction that conversation is taking…

I’m sharing 16 lines, my rubbish maths goes like this: 14 for the day + 2 from 2015!

Linda nudged Rebecca’s arm. ‘Mr Leavis looks a bit stranded. Maybe one of us should go and talk to him?’

Rebecca started involuntarily. Maria’s lips twitched. ‘Perhaps you should go and talk to him, Rebecca? After all, you know him already,’ she said.

Rebecca’s mouth fell open and she glared at her sister. What was she thinking?

‘You do?’ Linda asked.

‘Yes.’ Rebecca said through gritted teeth. Looking at her sister, she could tell that Maria wasn’t about to let this drop; she was enjoying herself too much. ‘All right, I’ll go and say hi.’

Rebecca had never been more reluctant to do anything before in her life, as she tottered in her high heels over to where Jonathan was standing, looking dapper in a chic evening suit and tapping the stem of his champagne glass. But her reluctance faded a little as she saw his face light up when he saw her, clearly relieved to have someone he knew to talk to.

‘Hi, Jonathan,’ she said in a low voice.

And that’s all you’re getting for now. If you’re reading this and thinking ‘this is something I’d like to get involved with’, then it’s easy. Just post on your blog an excerpt of whatever you’re writing at the moment, then add your details here. Don’t forget to check out what the other wonderful WIPpeteers have shared.

Thank you K. L. Schwengel as always for hosting. 😀

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18 thoughts on “From where we left off

  1. Great excerpt! I’m not sure I’d go over. I’d probably say something nasty to my sister and slink off by myself =P

    Work has a way of getting in the way, but you are making progress on the rewrite which is important. I’m in the same boat as you this week in terms of keeping up with everything. It’s just hard to do a lot of the time.

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  2. Ooo.. Rebecca’s the ultimate lady right here. At least as far as we get. Going to talk to someone she’s very uncomfortable with because he looks left out of the party took fortitude and graciousness. Seems pretty strong to me. 🙂

    I had the same problem with one of my characters. I’m working the kinks out. I’ve come to the conclusion, however, that it’s easy to miss certain types of strengths in books. Or difficult to write them so that people notice?

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    • Aw thanks Linda. But I’m only back for this week’s though – I’m gonna be working on Wednesdays for a while, maybe indefinitely.

      Thanks for your thoughts on Rebecca – that’s great, I’m obviously doing something right in my portrayal of her! 😀

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  3. We’ll miss you, but these dang jobs have a way of messing with things, don’t they. 😦 Ah well, necessary evil as far as I’m concerned. We still muddle through.

    I’m with Adrian, I would have probably told my sister if she wanted someone to go talk to him so badly, she should go herself. As for making Rebecca appear stronger, or more capable of standing up to Jonathan–little things. Yeah, she doesn’t want to go over by him, but instead of ‘tottering’ on her high heels, maybe she swallows the nerves and puts on her best strut. Inside she can be quaking, but outside she should give the appearance of calm, cool, collective. When you can pull that off, you’re strong.

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    • Aw thanks Kathi, it’s nice to know I’ll be missed! 🙂

      Thanks also for your advice about Rebecca – I will have a think about how I describe her approaching Jonathan. I think you’re right about the need for her to at least look confident, even if she’s not feeling it inside.

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  4. Aw, I’ll miss your posts, but I do understand. Life is complicated and busy.

    I know I’m not nearly as nice a person as Rebecca. I’d have told my sister to shut up, and I wouldn’t have gone over. That, or I would have gone over just to be sarcastic and obnoxious. LOL!

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    • Thanks Amy, it’s lovely to be appreciated! Who knows, once I’m used to the job I may (eventually!) have the energy to do my post on the Wednesday evening and take part still. But I’m not gonna rush it!

      Yeah, Rebecca certainly does feel like killing her sister. But I thought it would be an interesting twist to the plot to have Rebecca feel compelled to talk to Jonathan even though that’s the last thing she feels like doing!! 😀

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  5. I’ve never thought of Rebecca as weak – but Johnathan seems to have a way of getting into her physical space that’s unsettling to her. I think I pick up on it because I would also find it a bit off-putting. And I am a strong woman – I just like my space.

    I agree with Kathi…I would have her determinedly OWNING those heels with a strut, a swagger, a saunter – and definitely a straight back and chin up!

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