I can’t believe it’s December already. Can anyone tell me where that year went? It feels like five minutes since last Christmas Day when my husband was taking a photo of the family lol.
Anyway for my contribution to this week’s WIPpet Wednesday, I’m being generous and giving you four paragraphs from chapter 12 of my current WIP Reunion. I’ll let you work out the reference to the date yourselves!
This point follows on – well not quite immediately – from last week’s excerpt I shared with you. Anna has been shopping and is desperately trying to get home but she’s being followed by someone, a guy called Will, who wants to speak to her.
She’s desperate not to talk to him – she was at school with him where he made her life a misery – but he’s trying to make her listen to him. Anna is convinced he’s stalking her – this is just one of a series of occasions where he’s ‘bumped into’ her. She can’t take anymore…
She turned to walk away but his hand was on her arm again, gentle yet firm. The blood rushed to her face; now she was incensed.
‘Get your hand off me!’ she yelled. Passers-by turned to look. A middle aged man carrying a bag of shopping from Tesco came up and asked if everything was all right. He looked pointedly at Will who, with an expression Anna couldn’t fathom, released her arm. Anna nodded to the stranger and thanked him. The man seemed unconvinced that she didn’t need help but left them.
Anna didn’t wait for Will to say anything. Without another word she turned and walked quickly away from him, praying that he wouldn’t follow. She didn’t look back. Almost feeling his stare boring into her, she rushed to the cash point on the other side of the pedestrianized street. Her hands fumbling, shaking with nerves, she eventually managed to get some money out all the while petrified that he would be standing right behind her when she turned around.
But to her relief when she did turn around he was nowhere to be seen. Anna ran to the taxi rank on the road where Will had spotted her, praying that he wouldn’t suddenly appear again. Thankfully he really did seem to be gone and she hopped in a taxi, giving instructions to the driver of where to take her. To her relief she was soon being whisked off back towards the comfort of home.
By the way, I hope those of you who took part in NaNo achieved all you wanted to. I’m full of admiration for you guys; it’s something that wouldn’t suit me but I’m impressed by those who manage it along with everything else in their lives. 🙂
If you haven’t taken part in WIPpet Wednesday before but you’d like to, all you need to do is post on your blog an excerpt of whatever you’re currently working on writing-wise. Then add your name to this linky. Rule: Your excerpt must relate in some way to the date.
Big pre-Christmas hugs to K. L. Schwengel for hosting.
Elaine Jeremiah 
Ooh, awesome excerpt! I have no idea of the context, since I’ve missed the past couple of weeks, but this is really tense. The only thing I would say is that the use of “to her relief” twice in the last paragraph felt a little bit repetitive, but it was great apart from that!
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OK thanks for flagging that up Emily. Glad you liked it. Lovely to see you last week, enjoy the rest of your time over here and have a good trip when you (eventually!!) go back. 🙂
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I know! December, right? It’s craziness. I couldn’t even believe it was Thanksgiving and now here we are angling toward Christmas and New Years. Yikes.
A tense scene. Poor Anna, having to worry about Will hanging around. One little nit, if I may? I’d get rid of ‘Almost’ at the beginning of sentence 4 paragraph 3. It’s a weasel word. She did feel his stare boring into her. Absolutely she did. If she didn’t, it’s not worth mentioning.
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Point taken re ‘almost’ thanks Kathi! And yes it being December already is certainly crazy. 🙂
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I missed last week too, due to going away for Thanksgiving. But wow! I agree that this is a very tense scene. Glad Anna got away. I was afraid Will would pop up in the taxi!
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Thanks. So glad you appreciated it. But there is a twist in the tale. What that twist is I’m not saying…
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As the others said, really tense scene, and this Will comes across as a little creepy. I’d be incensed too at a ‘gentle yet firm’ unwanted hand on my arm too.
I agree, this year has gone particularly quickly and now it’s only three weeks until Christmas Day! Yikes! better finish buying Christmas presents. 🙂
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We’ve still got some to buy but fortunately we don’t have huge numbers of people to buy for which is good. Yes Will does come across as creepy in this scene but there’s two sides to every story.
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caaareeeeeeEEEper! =P Kinda wishing the middle-aged dude had stuck around a bit longer. =/
Great excerpt!
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Thanks Adrian glad you appreciated it. Yes Anna probably wishes the man had stuck around for longer too. She just wants to get away.
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Loved your excerpt. Wish she’d smacked him in the face somehow. 😉 Wait, it’s a *rule* that the excerpt has to be related to the date? A *rule*?!? Guess that’s why I sometimes break it. 😉
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Well yes as they say rules are made to be broken. 😉 So glad you loved the excerpt. And yes Anna at this point is needing to defend herself.
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No kidding about how the year flew by! And only finished maybe half what I wanted to finish …
Good excerpt, Oooh yuck, a stalker! Lot’s of tension in that. Although I actually think you could dray it out a bit, have her spy him again before she flags the taxi. *evil grin*
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Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the tip. 🙂
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Drag, not dray. Man, I manage the weirdest typos when the fingers are flying.
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Yuck, that would be scary! Nice job!
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Thanks Alana. No a stalker is not good but as I’ve commented above there are two sides to every story…
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I agree with the suggested changes the others have mentioned, but this was a tense scene, and I’m glad Will had the sense to leave her alone. Don’t mess with a woman you have just pissed off in public. Will, you are not in her good graces, leave it be or you WILL get mauled!! haha, had to play on words, that was fun.
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Ha ha love it. Anna’s really scared at this point and desperate to be as far away from Will as possible. Thankfully she makes it home. But could there be more to this ‘encounter’ than meets the eye? Maybe I’ll share some later scenes with you guys – as long as I can do it without giving the entire plot away!!
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Creepy guys, helpful by-standers and video surveillance… Smart move on Anna’s part going to the cash machine. And the idea that Will skedaddled the way he did… Where is he watching her from then?
(Yeah! I would love to know where all the time has gone as well. Each year seems to fly by faster as faster lately.)
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Glad I’m not the only one feeling time going by faster and faster!! Will has got the message by the end of this extract and he’s gone, but not before making Anna feel really nervous.
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Hmmm… I think he might be following her for not-so-nefarious purposes. Maybe. That would be unnerving, though. Did you ever see this clip? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Xnrjqc8BcM
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Maybe just maybe you’re right. Funny clip. I enjoyed it. 🙂
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