Hello one and all and welcome to WIPpet Wednesday when we writers share our wonderful work with the world! OK, enough with the alliteration. :-p Anyway I hope you’ve all had a good week.
Before I share my WIPpet, I wanted to say that I’m still looking for people to read my book Reunion of the Heart for free in exchange for a fair and honest review. You can read Amy Mitchell’s lovely review of it here and there’s also a review of it by Kathy on her blog here.
If you’re interested in reading it in exchange for a review, or you know someone who would be, my email address is: elaine (dot) jeremiah (at) gmail (dot) com Please do get in touch if it’s something you’d like to do. 🙂
And on with this week’s excerpt. I’m being boring and sharing with you eight more paragraphs for the month of August from my current WIP romance about a school teacher. They follow on immediately from last week’s which you can read here.
To fill you in a little my MC Rebecca, a teacher, is at a parents’ evening where the parents of the kids at the school where she works get to have a meeting with their kids’ teachers and find out more about how their kids are doing. Rebecca is currently meeting Jonathan Leavis, the parent from hell, about his son Daniel who isn’t working hard enough…
‘Mr Leavis, the reason that I’ve been grading Daniel’s work so low is because that is the level that he is attaining at the moment. He’s simply not bothering in class; he’s writing little poems about…’ Don’t say they’re about you, Rebecca, she thought, ‘…about nothing… nothing important. He’s not paying attention at all; he’s not taking anything in, so he’s not learning. In short, Mr Leavis, the way Daniel is carrying on he won’t pass his English literature exams next year.’
She paused and forced herself to look directly at Mr Leavis. While she’d been talking, her gaze had been fixed just slightly above his face; she hadn’t been able to bring herself to look at him properly. You coward, she castigated herself, as she saw in Mr Leavis’ eyes anger, disappointment and… what?
Rebecca watched as he gave a nod. There was a long pause.
‘I want to take this further,’ he said finally. ‘I’m not satisfied that my son is receiving the highest standard of teaching. Most likely if he was in another class, he would be doing much better. There was never a problem when Miss Adams was teaching him.’
Rebecca was speechless. Had she heard him right? Had he really said what she thought she’d just heard him say? It took her a moment to find the words to say to him that were repeatable.
‘I’m sorry you feel this way, Mr Leavis. If you really have a complaint to make,’ she said biting back her anger, ‘I can refer you to Daniel’s head of year.’
‘Head of year?’ he spluttered, his face red. ‘Headmistress more likely. I’m going to take this to the top. I want my son to have the best education possible.’
‘Well in that case, perhaps a state education isn’t for him.’ Rebecca closed her mouth. I did not say that, I did not say that, she thought, feeling her face turn scarlet. But she had said it and she watched as Mr Leavis’ face began to mirror her own, only his was puce. I’m fed up with this, she thought suddenly. I don’t care anymore, it’s late, I don’t need this, I want to go home. She folded her arms. He folded his arms. They were at an impasse.
That’s it from me today, except to say that if you would like to take part in WIPpet Wednesday, all you have to do is post on your blog an excerpt from whatever you’ve been working on writing-wise lately. Just make sure it relates in some way to the date. Then add your details here and join in the fun by visiting the other lovely WIPpeteers sites to read their contributions.
My thanks as always goes to K. L. Schwengel for being our lovely host. 😀
I’m glad Rebecca was able to speak her mind to Audi-man! And his reaction was totally typical, given what we’ve seen on him so far. Mind if punch him? But yikes, that last remark probably wasn’t the best thing to say!
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Ha ha no – definitely not the best thing to say! And you’re welcome to punch him. 😉
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what an ass! I may punch him as well.
You know, I seem to always want to either be punching or hugging characters. And I’m not an especially violent or huggy person. lol
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Yeah, you do that! It’s funny how characters in stories, if they’re written well, can either make us love them or hate them. Thanks for commenting! 🙂
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I loved what you did with the tension. I could feel their anger and indignation. It made me thank the Lord I’m not a teacher!
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Thank you very much! No, I wouldn’t want to be a teacher either lol. My parents are both retired teachers, so I’ve got plenty of knowledge about what it can be like. 🙂
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Is it wrong that I love Rebecca more for that last blurted comment (remember, we homeschool!)?
I think this father should be given the chance to stop and think about what he’s saying and doing. If Audi-man really does want the best possible education for his son, private school or tutoring might be more effective…
Although a boy writing poems about his teacher seems to me to be rather understandably afflicted with hormonally charged energy, and maybe it’d be better all around to discuss it with him, and cut him a bit of slack for being – well, pretty normal.
I love the way they’re mirroring each other, and both seem so convinced of their rightness. I sense sparks of a different sort getting ready to ignite! =)
I’d be happy to read and review, if you can wait a few weeks for me to get through a few things that need to happen first. =)
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As always you’re spot on Shan! 😉 And I’d love for you to read and review my book – the offer will still be open in a few weeks! 🙂
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Always?! Nope. Way too much pressure. But I’m pretty good at the intuition thing, and I tend to trust my instincts.
I also don’t see school or studying as particularly important in and of themselves. Learning for one’s own reasons, absolutely. Learning because it’s in the curriculum or on the test is seldom real learning, though…
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OK – I’ll let you know about the review when I climb up on top of this mountain o’ other stuff a bit….
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Oh and it’s not wrong at all to love Rebecca for that comment! Just the sort of outspoken thing I’d love to say in a situation like that but haven’t got the words/courage!
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I sense there is more going on with Audi man than meets the eye, but perhaps that’s me being overly romantic and optimistic. Regardless, a girl can hope!
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Hmm a girl can hope indeed! 😉
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You know. I’m really glad she’s sticking with her guns and not apologizing for what she said. Shows a bit of character.
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Yes Rebecca is good at sticking up for herself. In some ways I wish I could be more like her – that’s the great thing about characters, we can give them words and situations and have them behave in the way we would love to if we could!
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So… curious. What IS the home vs. private vs. public school political climate like in England? Is there some reason telling a parent their child might benefit from a different environment would be taboo? Or does it have more to do with the implication that public schools are not the best education available?
I, too, like that Rebecca didn’t chicken out. That she’s not intimidated by the thought of having a parent complain to her boss says a lot about her confidence in her teaching skills.
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Well here in Bristol (SW England) there a lot of prestigious private schools which has a negative impact on the state schools – because there are so many good private schools the state schools become less popular and so go downhill. Those families who can’t afford to send their children to a private school, but can afford to move out to the edge of the city – or say some miles down the road where the state schools – are better, do so.
Generally in this country though, most people send their kids to the state schools. It’s interesting because our public schools are actually what we call the VERY TOP private schools, like Eton where Princes William and Harry went. Eton’s incredibly old – it’s been in existence since the 15th century. The ironic thing is that when schools like Eton were first set up they were established to help poorer pupils – hence the term public. How things change!
So Rebecca’s basically telling Mr Leavis to send his son to a private school and that could be seen as rude because she’s insinuating that he thinks his son is too good for a state education.
Hope this answers your questions a little bit. Glad you appreciated the excerpt. 🙂
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Yes, it does. How interesting. 🙂
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Looks like there’s a line forming to deck this guy. I’m not certain I’d be as cool as Rebecca is being, so good for her to be able to speak her mind in a tactful and concise manner. But I love that you give us the glimpses of what she’s really thinking. Hee, hee.
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Yes she’s definitely not pleased, but she’s standing her ground. I almost feel sorry for Mr Leavis, what with you all queuing up to punch him I think he’s going to have a sore head soon. But only almost! 😉
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Sign me up to smack him. I can’t stand parents like that. And I’m actually with her–if he thinks the education is so bad, WHY is his kid there and not in another school? Bully.
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He is definitely being a bully at this point and deserves all he gets right now. Are you a teacher? I forget.
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My husband is a teacher, and so are many of my friends. I used to be a school nurse, so I’m familiar with a lot of the politics.
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Wow. Glad she spoke up. He’s a total jerk, isn’t he?
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Yes he is! Rebecca’s certainly not afraid to speak her mind. 🙂
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Castigated! This is what I love about reading, coming across words that I’ve forgotten about, and then I want to use them in my own writing because I’m so excited to remember about a descriptive word that sounds cool!
*rolls eyes* Yeah, yeah, typical man thinking he owns the world and that his perception of education is the ONLY acceptable way to go about it. Give me a hose. A fire hose.
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Yes castigated is a great word IMHO. Glad you appreciated the excerpt. A fire hose hmm… not a bad idea! 🙂
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