Hey! I thought I’d do a quick post today as I’m quite tired and rather busy. So I’m gonna share with you 7 sentences for the 7th month from my current WIP. It still doesn’t have a title yet lol. I’ll get there in the end.
To give you a bit of background to the scene my MC Rebecca, a new teacher, has been working at the secondary school (11-16 yr olds) for a few weeks. In this scene she’s surprised to see a pupil she hasn’t seen for a while…
Looking up from her desk, Rebecca was surprised and pleased to see Melanie Bailey standing beside it, an uncertain expression on her face. She’d barely seen the girl since she started but Rebecca was still grateful to her for her concern when she’d nearly been hit by that awful man’s car. But Melanie hadn’t been in any of her classes so far. She wondered what she was doing here now, during lunch break when all the pupils would be either in the cafeteria or skulking around the school grounds.
‘Can I help you, Melanie?’ Rebecca asked her.
‘You remembered my name,’ she smiled, her features brightening a little. Then she lowered her eyes as if embarrassed by her statement.
So that’s it from me! If you want to take part in WIPpet Wednesday all you have to do is post an excerpt on your blog of whatever your working on currently writing-wise. The general rule is that it relates in some way to the date. Then add your name here.
Thanks once again to K. L. Schwengel for hosting. 🙂
Elaine Jeremiah 
Ah, I think I sense a thickening plot on the way! *g*
Nice snippet. Quiet but still with a subtle growing tension.
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Thank you Ruth. Yes there is a bit of tension going on. I’m still working on the plot. I know how I want it to end, it’s the middle part that’s tricky. 🙂
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Ooh, sounds like Melanie has a story. I wonder what’s going on with her.
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I should develop Melanie’s story too really shouldn’t I? Though I wouldn’t want to get too distracted from Rebecca’s lol. 🙂
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Well, only if it’s relevant to Rebecca’s. Not that this is what you have in mind, but I could easily see whatever is going on with Melanie being important if Rebecca is helping her resolve it.
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Exactly. As I said to Ruth, I’m still working on the plot really. Melanie is a subsidiary character, but she has the potential to drive the plot forward a bit.
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Ummm…you leave it like that and me, who writes lesbian fiction, goes in a completely different direction that you probably want me to…. =P
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Hmm it wouldn’t be a good idea in this context seeing as Melanie is a pupil and is about 14 years old!! lol It’s interesting that you see it from a whole new angle though. 😉
But when read in context, with the following paragraphs, it’s more straightforward.
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I would gather lol and hope so!
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Oh, that’s interesting. Like a crush on the teacher? Not that I would know…*whistles nonchalantly*
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You have a permanent crush on the teacher
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Hahaha! Well, yeah. But I was speaking of my junior high self there. Not that I understood it AT ALL when I was 12, though. I was pretty clueless. LOL!
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I don’t think I ever had a crush on a teacher. Some of the boys in my classes maybe but not a teacher. I was deprived. *sighs*
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Heh. I did crush on a couple of teachers in junior high (ages 12-13), but I’m not sure I’d have exactly called it that. More like just admired them a lot. Typical immature kid stuff.
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Well I’m guessing you got over your crushes. 😉
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😀 I did. But I married a teacher (hence the above comment about my permanent crush on the teacher, LOL).
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Oh, so you never quite got over your crush then? 😉
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haha, cute!
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Thank you!
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Another awesome WIPpet! 🙂
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Thank you very much! It’s good to have your thoughts. 🙂
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I also wonder what’s going on with Melanie!
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Um still working on that. lol
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Aww… I think most kids are delighted when a favorite teacher recognizes them. Even more so in secondary schools, given the larger class sizes and less time with each teacher. 🙂
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Yes I think you’re probably right. I’ve actually decided to set this story 20 years ago, to when I was at secondary school. Reason being that I’m just not up to date with how things are in schools in the 21st century.
I don’t have any kids and I rarely have interaction with kids. I started off with having this story in the present day, but felt out my depth and took the advice of some friends I’d spoken to about it. It just flows better doing it this way. 🙂
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I understand that! Only, my failing comes in technology. I don’t keep up with it at all, so sometimes I have to double check that I’m using the latest stuff for my tech.-inclined characters.
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I’m not too bad with some technology – where I struggle is more with how it affects the lives of young teenagers, how it has changed the way kids learn, things like that.
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Melanie’s line about remembering her name…that speaks volumes. Nice little excerpt. Makes me wonder what the connection is…if any.
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I’m still working on it! I know it’s obvious but this is still VERY much a work in progress. It needs such a lot of tweaking. I’ve actually paused writing it to do some character profiles, which is helping. But it all takes time. I just hope I can publish this story by the end of next year!!
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The way Melanie’s gaze falls after her spark at being recognized… lots of story here. And yes, I can see lots of ways that you can advance Rebecca’s character by helping our young student here. You will help her, won’t you? O.O
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Oh yeah, I’m definitely gonna develop Melanie’s character, and thereby Rebecca’s too I hope! As I was saying to Kathi above, this story needs a LOT of work doing on it and I’m not doing nearly enough at the moment!!
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Nice one here Elaine, your characters are always interesting… 🙂
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Ah thank you so much, that’s good to know! And thanks for stopping by. 🙂
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This is the first time I’ve heard the word WIPpet and I love it. Mind if I borrow it sometime. Your work is looking very solid after I read through several WIPpets and I’d love to read the finished product when the time comes. Happy writing!
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Of course I don’t mind! It’s not exactly mine to keep lol. Maybe you should join in? It’s easy to do, just follow the instructions at the end of my blog post if you’d like to.
Anyway, thanks very much for commenting. Glad you’re enjoying my posts. And I’d love for you to read the finished product. I’m some way away from finished though. Hopefully by the end of next year!!! OK, so maybe I’m being a little pessimistic but I’m finding it slow going at the moment what with all the rest of the things I need to do, you know work and so on…
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I may have to start doing that. I’d still love to share snippets of past work as well to promote a bit. It’s so hard to tell where your work stands when you’ve little to no feedback or amateur advice that’s just “I didn’t like that part and don’t know why I just didn’t”.
This response actually answered a question I asked in my other comment just now about your timeline. Wouldn’t it be nice just to legitimately write all the time? Instead of having to use tons of free time that you may or may not have around work, family, social life, and the dreaded must workout times from sitting in your chair too often. You could write 6-8 hours a day and still have a life. Such is the world: a constant necessity of balance.
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Yes life is definitely about balance and I sometimes get it wrong – but I think everyone struggles with balancing the different areas of their lives. We’re not alone in that. But yes it would be good if there weren’t so many distractions from writing. 🙂
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