Well it’s been a couple of weeks since my last WIPpet Wednesday. I hope you’re all OK. My work experience at Bristol City Council has begun. It’s going well and I’m really enjoying it.
Also on Monday I had an interview for a paid job. I’m waiting to hear back from them to tell me if I’ve got it or not. I have to say I think I fluffed the task they set for me at the beginning as maths is not my strong point and one of the tasks I had to do involved a maths calculation.
Anyway we’ll see what happens with that one and I’ll let you know how I get on. Back to the main event. For this week’s WIPpet I thought I’d do something different and share with you an excerpt of a fantasy story for children I was writing a few years ago and never finished.
Confession: technically I haven’t written any more of this since 2011 so shoot me now if I’m breaking the rules! (But maybe you could read my excerpt first. 😉 )
To set the scene Stephanie and Thomas are staying at their dad’s house. Their parents are divorced and they see their dad every weekend. But while they’re staying there something strange happens. Cue 9 paragraphs for the 9th April:
Thomas opened his notebook and began to write. He and Stephanie were stunned at what happened next. Instead of Thomas’s messy handwriting appearing on the paper, a beautiful script emerged from the pen. It was as if the pen was writing by itself. The two children were mesmerised by what they saw. Then something strange happened.
As Stephanie watched the writing appearing on the paper, everything around them began to change. Their surroundings went blurry and Stephanie felt as though she were spinning. She tried to speak but no sound came from her mouth and she couldn’t see Thomas although she could feel his hand in hers. Frightened, she screamed but again there was no sound. But it didn’t last long. All at once the blurriness disappeared and Stephanie saw Thomas standing next to her looking dizzy. Then as their surroundings came into focus, Stephanie realised with a shock that they weren’t in Thomas’s bedroom anymore. Her mouth hung open in amazement.
‘Where are we?’ she said.
‘I don’t know but we’re not at Dad’s anymore.’
They were standing on lush green grass, greener than anything they’d seen before. They were in a beautiful meadow, covered with tiny flowers of many colours, some pink, purple and yellow. The flowers seemed to be giving off light, Stephanie noticed, almost like mini suns. But unlike the sun, it didn’t hurt her eyes to look at them; in fact she felt soothed by them and less fearful.
They could hear the sound of bumble bees droning around them and Stephanie saw some settling down on the flowers to collect the pollen. In the distance they could see enormous mountains which had snow on the top of them. But before they had any more time to look at their new surroundings, there was a sudden huge explosion like a bomb going off near where they were standing. Stephanie jumped and clutched at her brother’s arm. She hated loud sudden noises.
‘I want to go home,’ she said in a small voice and began to cry. She was even more worried when there was the unmistakable tramp of feet.
‘Come on, Steph, we’ve got to hide,’ Thomas said urgently, pulling her away from the sound of marching and across the meadow. But it was huge and there was nowhere to hide. The marching was getting closer. Thomas propelled her towards the longer bits of meadow grass.
‘Lie down quickly,’ he commanded her. She did as he said and they both lay quivering with fear in the tall grass. The children heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Then they stopped. Stephanie knew they’d been discovered.
As always you too can take part in WIPpet Wednesday. Just post something writing-related on your blog, making sure it relates in some way to the date. Then add your name here.
Thanks to K. L. Schwengel for hosting. 🙂
Elaine Jeremiah 
Glad you’re back, sounds like you are really busy.
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Thanks Rosie. Yes I am quite busy, but for me the hard part has been getting used to the new routine and being tired. Added to that the clock change last week and it’s taken me a while to find my feet. But it’s all good now. 🙂
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Good luck with the interview. If the math test was only one portion, and doesn’t strictly relate to the job, you might still do fine.
And the ‘rules’…well…they’re more like guidelines. 😉 Great excerpt. Lots of tension and a good bit of action to move it along. Now I’m curious as to where they got the pen, where they wound up, and who found them.
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I GOT THE JOB!! Thanks for your kind wishes, I found out yesterday. So happy! 😀
Glad you liked the excerpt. I had to look up in my story to answer your questions, it’s been so long since I looked at it lol. Stephanie finds the pen under her pillow. As to where they ended up and who found them… well I don’t want to give too much away too soon. 😉
I have to say it’s good to revisit this story. I stopped writing it as I got bogged down by different people telling me different things about how I could improve on it. This was before I finished it. I made the mistake of starting to go back and change a lot without having finished a first draft. Then I just lost all my enthusiasm for it so I dropped it. But I may well go back to it at some stage.
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Wow. I hope you’ll finish that story!
Yes, good luck with the interview as Kathi mentioned.
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As I told Kathi I got the job so as you can imagine I’m happy. 🙂 So glad you like the story. I may well go back to it. I think it’s got potential.
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Good luck with the interview. I hope it goes well.
In wondering where the magic pen came from, now I have this thought that since they must’ve found it at their dad’s, he’s involved somehow. Perhaps he’s magical, too. Great introduction, and I hope you finish the story!
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I got the job so I’m very happy! No, the dad’s not magical – I’m not sure I ever got as far as the reason why Stephanie finds the pen under her pillow (in an earlier part of the same chapter as the excerpt’s from). I hope to finish it one day. 🙂
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Great WIPpet, good luck for the job interview! 🙂
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I got the job! 😀 Thank you for your kind wishes and glad you liked the excerpt.
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Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you’re back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the excerpt. Your writing has really grown in the three years since you wrote this. I can tell just from the excerpts you’ve posted of each. =D
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Ah thank you Adrian, that’s so encouraging. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy! 🙂
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Welcome back, Elaine! Sometimes we all need to step away for a while.
I loved this excerpt. Hopefully dragging it out of the “abandoned files” for this WIPpet means you might try working on it again. Sounds like something that my son would love too.
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Thanks Eden. Though I may be absent for a bit again as I found out yesterday that I’ve got a job!! I will do my best to continue to contribute, though I may get a little tired. I haven’t yet got round to commenting on anyone else’s WIPpet yet – but hey, there’s still loads of time.
I definitely want to continue with this story. The reason I gave up with it was as I mentioned to Kathi in the comment above. I just lost all enthusiasm for it by trying to change too much too soon and without finishing it. It’s encouraging that your son would like it. 🙂
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Congratulations on the new job. 🙂
This is a fun excerpt. 🙂
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Thanks very much ReGi. So glad you liked the excerpt. Hope you’re having a lovely Saturday. 🙂
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Wow! Great except, I love this mystical place they’ve landed in. I can’t wait to see how they find their way home, and the characters they’ll encounter along the way. 🙂 Congrats on your new job! Such good news!!
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Thank you very much Chloe. I’m really pleased as you can imagine. As for the excerpt, well it’s a story I may well go back to at some point. 🙂
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