I thought I’d be a bit kinder this week and share with you 23 lines from the first chapter of Reunion. They follow immediately on from the revised beginning of the story which I shared with you a few weeks ago, where Anna is confronting her boyfriend Elliot about his cheating. She proceeds to kick him out.
You may recognise some sentences in this week’s excerpt because this passage has parts in it that were from my original beginning. So apologies if some of it seems the same. I have, however, changed a fair bit of it so hopefully it won’t overlap too much.
At this point in the story Anna has just kicked her cheating boyfriend out. Her best friend Melissa, who currently has nowhere to live, is moving in with her. Anna is still struggling with her emotions over the breakup and Melissa is doing her best to help her to move on.
My WIPpet maths goes like this: 6+11+2+1+3 = 23 lines. So there you have it. Hope you enjoy it.
‘He did you wrong, Anna. He cheated on you,’ Melissa said looking Anna straight in the eye, a no-nonsense expression on her face. ‘You were absolutely right to give him his marching orders.’
Anna didn’t answer for a moment. There was a pain in her chest which had been there since she’d thrown Elliot out and it wouldn’t budge.
‘That’s the last of them,’ she said finally, heaving Melissa’s suitcase through her front door and ignoring her searching gaze.
Melissa picked up one of the many bags in the hallway and took it into the slightly tidier front room. ‘Well it’s all in the past now anyway. It’s a new start for both of us.’
Anna nodded and followed her from the hallway overflowing like a swollen river with suitcases and bags into the relative tidiness of her front room. Her hair was coming loose from its ponytail and falling into her eyes, so she vigorously tugged her hair out of its band and retied it, pulling it tightly until it hurt. Tears were threatening to fall, but she held them back like water by a dam.
Why should she give way to tears when there was no point? Elliot would win if she did that and yet… The world is your oyster. The thought popped into her head as she was standing a little dazed in the middle of the front room. Well it was, wasn’t it, now that Elliot was no longer a part of her life. Or the oyster is your world as he used to say. She scrunched her eyes up; try as she might she just couldn’t seem to get him out of her mind.
‘You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?’ Melissa’s voice brought her back from the brink.
‘Only a little,’ Anna lied unable to keep her voice steady.
As you may have seen on my blog, the free promotion of my debut novel The Inheritance ended yesterday and it went really well. I’ve had nearly 9500 downloads, most of them in the US so I’m happy about that. Hopefully it’ll lead to more sales. 🙂
If you would like to take part in WIPpet Wednesday, all you have to do is post an excerpt of your current writing work on your blog. Then add your name to this linky. Only rule is that it has to relate in some way to the date. Happy writing! Thanks to K. L. Schwengel for hosting.
Congrats on the massive downloads.
Poor Anna. I don’t know why, but this put me in mind of an old poem I heard once. “It’s hard to lose a guy when your heart is full of hope. It’s worse to lose a towel when your eyes are full of soap.” But I’m thinking Anna won’t see the humor in that.
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Thanks Kathi. Ha ha that’s a funny rhyme, hadn’t heard that one. No at this point Anna definitely wouldn’t see the humour in that, but things do get better for her as the story progresses. With ups and downs of course.
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Haha, Kathi. Words of the wise! Nice snipped, Elaine, and congrats again on your free promo!
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Thanks v much Alana. It’s so great to be a published author! 🙂
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D’awww poor Anna…time to wallow for a bit longer, then she can go kick some ex’s ass. =P
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Ha ha I think she’d like to, she can’t believe how he’s betrayed her. In my new revised opening, she does throw an empty food carton at him which hits on the chest and hurts him. Boy did he have that coming to him!
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Lol!!! That’s great!
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Glad you approve!!!
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Oh Anna! I’ve been there, girl!
You handled the emotional turmoil really well in this excerpt, Elaine.
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Ah thank you L. Marie, that’s good to know. Sorry to hear that you’ve been there, hope things are better now. 🙂
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Congrats on all the downloads!
Oh, poor Anna. If I could reach through the screen and hug you I would, but I doubt you’d like a stranger doing that…
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Thanks Christina. It’s a good feeling, knowing that my book is out there and people are reading it. 🙂 I’m sure Anna would appreciate the sentiment!!
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Wahooo! All those downloads are super awesome!! I am feeling Anna’s inner turmoil, feeling the sting of breaking up and yet not wanting to give the satisfaction of crying over someone who didn’t respect her. Tough times to get through, and easier to read about than having to experience.
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Thanks! You’re right, it’s much easier to read about breakups than to go through it ourselves. Glad that you’re feeling Anna’s turmoil. That means I’m doing something right!
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