I’m running late again with my contribution to WIPpet Wednesday, but hey as the song goes I’ve saved the best for last!! (Well maybe – I guess you guys will be the judge of that.) I thought I’d share some more from my story The Inheritance which, as most of you probably know, I’m hoping to publish someday soon. When I’ve finished my editing that is and had it proofread. BUT the end is in sight. I thought I’d share another part with my character Emma. She’s fallen on hard times and life is difficult to say the least. So in honour of it being the 15th May today I thought I’d share about 15 lines. Technically they’re from chapter 14 but I really wanted to share them so I’ll have to bend the rules a little. Here they are.
She felt her lower lip begin to tremble. Tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks, but now was not the time to cry. She stood up, picking up the few plastic bags which contained everything she owned, and walked out of the room. She shut the door behind her and stood still for a moment at the top of the stairs looking down. What if I just throw myself down the stairs? she thought to herself. She knew that no one would care if she was gone. But I might just fall badly without killing myself, or worse still survive but be paralysed. No, she hadn’t thought suicide through properly. For the moment she’d just have to put up with her lot. I suppose I deserve it anyway, she thought bleakly and began to descend the stairs.
Emma had just enough money for the bus to the hostel and thankfully the bus stop was a short walk away. As she was waiting for the bus a few minutes later, she thought of Reg. She’d barely thought of him at all since she’d arrived in London, but now she remembered his kindness to her on the train. She also remembered him giving her his contact card, just as the Chinese couple had given her theirs. She’d neglected all of them.
If you would like to join in the WIPpet Wednesday fun, simply post an excerpt from your current work in progress on your blog that somehow correlates to the date (hence 15 lines for the 15th May). Then add your details to this linky. Thanks to K.L. Schwengel for hosting.
Elaine Jeremiah 
Poor thing. I have a feeling I’m going to really be feeling for her by the end of the book!
LikeLike
Yes she does deserve some pity, although she’s brought a lot of this on herself. By the end of the book…well things may be different.
LikeLike
Oh, poor Emma! Having been in her place before, I can totally see this chain of events. How one starts thinking of people in the past one has neglected, etc…
I know you want to publish this, Elaine–I think you should publish it. Emma comes through as such an easy to relate to character. You (as a reader) want her to overcome. I really hope you get her out there where others can meet her and enjoy her company. 😀
LikeLike
Thanks so much Eden, so glad you enjoyed it. Knowing people appreciate my work gives me such a boost and makes me want to continue. 😀 And I agree with you about the guilt thing, where you know you’ve neglected people and it makes you feel bad. I can definitely sympathise with Emma there!
LikeLike
Agreed, though it’s not just that she feels guilty… it’s the timing of the guilt that rang so true, Elaine. When we’re already feeling depressed, we’re more likely to beat ourselves up for all our past shortcomings (real or perceived). Emma felt completely real in this scene.
LikeLike
Once again, thank you. It’s wonderful to have such a positive response. 🙂
LikeLike
Poor Emma! You can really feel her emotions in this passage.
LikeLike
Thanks Jessica. Yes, Emma really has been through some tough times. I can definitely empathise with her feeling like giving up.
LikeLike
You can definitely feel Emma’s pain here and I like the way she thinks about the possibility of suicide but isn’t actually suicidal. Being alone (when you don’t want to be) is one of the worst feelings and you convey her loneliness really well.
LikeLike
Thanks Kate. Emma is alone at this point in the story and I can definitely relate to that. I think we’ve all had similar moments in our lives. Maybe we haven’t been quite as alone as Emma but sometimes things happen to us and we feel there’s no one who can understand what we’re going through. Glad I conveyed a sense of Emma’s pain.
LikeLike
I’d have to agree with the rest, you really convey the emotion well. It’s heart wrenching and you hope she gets through it, maybe contacts one of the people she’s feeling bad about neglecting. Something, other than more dangerous thoughts. Well done.
LikeLike
Glad it wrenched your heart Kathi! 😉 Emma needs help at this point but it’s a case of where is she going to get that help. I agree with you that contacting those people is something she should be thinking about doing. Other people’s support can often make all the difference at times like this.
LikeLike
If you’re not too stubborn to accept that support.
LikeLike
That’s true. I’ve known people like that – stubborn and unwilling to accept help.
LikeLike
Oh, I feel for her too. I love a good black spot, where as the reader you really feel the low with the character. Best of luck with the rest of the editing process. I’m so inspired that so many of the WIPpeteers are published now – or almost there!
LikeLike
Thanks Raewyn. Yes it is heartening to see people being published. It’s wonderful that these days we don’t have to wait for a traditional publisher to pick up our manuscript – we can do it ourselves. Happy days! 🙂
LikeLike
Ooo, ooo, ooo! I think I know what happens next. *squee* You’re coming to the best part, right? Or do i just need to sit down and stop waving my hand like a lunatic because I’m waaaaay off? 😉
LikeLike
You may or may not have got it. Maybe you’ll have to read the finished book to find out…. Mmawwhahaha! 😉
LikeLike
*pouty face* Phooey. 😉
LikeLike
This was heart-wrenching, Elaine! Emma’s pain is really coming through, here, particularly the sardonic thought about “not having through suicide through enough” and the plastic bags containing everything she owns. I’m glad I know how the Prodigal Son ends so I can at least guess things will look up for her in the end!
LikeLike
More ‘heart wrenching’ comments (basks in the glow of appreciation!). Seriously, thank you. It’s nice that you know the story of the Prodigal Son – not everyone does these days.
LikeLike
Elaine,
Eighteen years ago, I stood at a fifth floor window, listening to the doctor telling me my fiance was dying…and, although I am afraid of heights, I contemplated whether I could leap out that window before he could stop me.
It was only a few seconds, but it felt like I was poised there, forever.
You’ve captured that hopeless desperation perfectly, here.
And, by the way, your last name is my almost 12-year old son’s first name. I think that’s cool! =)
LikeLike
It’s so brave of you to share that. That must have been heartbreaking. I’m glad you liked the excerpt. It’s a real boost to my confidence to hear other writers comment so positively on my writing. BTW my surname is my married name. My husband tells me that his ancestors who were Welsh had the surname ‘Morgan’ originally but changed it to ‘Jeremiah’ when they decided to be missionaries. I really like it. Hope your son does too! 🙂
LikeLike
I really enjoyed this excerpt, this is the first time I’ve picked up your blog so my first taste of your writing, and I love the way that you write. I found it easy to read but packed full of emotion and made me wonder what had happened in the previous thirteen chapters and what goes on beyond. I am at a very early stage in my writing career and have just self published my first book so I know exactly how you are feeling. It’s a huge deal and a massive roller coaster and I don’t know what I’m doing from one day to the next. I really hope that you get your dream and your book published soon. Glad to meet you and hope that we can go on to inspire each other. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much Jade, that really means a lot to me to hear that you appreciated my post. I’d love to read your book. Is it on Amazon? 🙂
LikeLike
No problem. Yes, it’s on Amazon for download only at the moment, in the process of getting the paperback sorted. You can read the first Chapter on my blog for free if you fancy a taster! If you do decide to read it then please let me know what you think. Thanks so much. 🙂
LikeLike