Well it’s nearly the end of Wednesday and I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to participate yet, but I’ve got just about enough time left to post my contribution to this week’s WIPpet Wednesday. I thought that seeing as I’ve put my current WIP on hold to revise my previous WIP, which I’m hoping to publish soon, I’d post a section of the previous one. It’s called ‘The Inheritance’ and it’s about two daughters, one wise daughter and one foolish daughter. It’s loosely based on the Prodigal Son, a parable Jesus tells in the Bible. Here’s the opening 17 lines (approximately), seeing as it’s the 17th today. Enjoy!
Emma was perched on a hay bale in the barn. Green rolling hills that she’d known all her life banked up in the distance. She watched her sister, barely able to disguise her irritation. Kate was sitting on another hay bale a few feet away, attempting to untangle her blonde curly hair with her fingers.
It was a permanent mess. Emma had the same slender figure, blonde curly hair and blue eyes as her sister, but her hair was always styled neatly. Why don’t you just cut it all off and start again? Emma wanted to say. Kate looked up at her with a disapproving expression on her face.
‘I don’t see why you can’t just stay here and wait until you’ve decided what you want to do with your life,’ she said.
‘But you would say that, wouldn’t you? You’ve always wanted to stay exactly where you are now, stuck on this farm,’ Emma said.
‘Yes, I love the farm. I’m happy here. The reason you want to leave is because you’re so restless. Take your clothes for instance. You update your look every five seconds.’
‘Well at least I have good taste in clothes,’ Emma said. ‘Look at you, Kate. How long have you had those ripped jeans? No, don’t tell me, you got them when you were fifteen and you’ve worn them ever since.’
If you would like to take part in WIPpet Wednesday, simply post a sample of your current work in progress on your blog which relates to the date in some way, so today being the 17th I’ve posted 17 lines from my work. Then just add your post to this link. Thanks to K.L. Schwengel for hosting. And my special thanks goes to my good friend Kate Frost who’s read ‘The Inheritance’ for me and has given me loads of great advice for improving on it!
Elaine Jeremiah 
woo hoo! I was hoping to see some of the Inheritance soon! I love how you made it two sisters and expect there will be a lot of tension between them before the stories over
LikeLike
Thanks Alana. Yes things do get very tense as the story progresses. 🙂
LikeLike
I grew up on a farm, so loved the opening with the hay bales. You do a great job setting up the differences between the sisters from the outset – Emma’s dissatisfied attitude comes across really well.
LikeLike
Thanks Raewyn. Emma is dissatisfied with her lot in life, but things end up getting much worse for her. She should have stayed where she was!
LikeLike
Unlike your other WIPpets there’s no teasing involved this week because I know exactly what happens in the end and it’s a great story well told (and an inspired idea to loosely base it on the Prodigal Son). I’m looking forward to re-reading the final finished piece and seeing it published! x
LikeLike
Ah thanks Kate, really great to have your approval! 🙂 I do hope I can finish it sooner rather than later – I’m impatient to get it done and out there.
LikeLike
I agree with Raewyn, a great opening scene with the difference — and distance — between the sisters handled very well.
LikeLike
I love that you decided on two sisters, despite the source material. The differences between them become really clear nice and quickly in this scene, I can hear both their voices distinctly and their expressions of dissatisfaction with one another.
LikeLike
Thanks Emily. Glad my characters have come across in that way; that’s what I intended. 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks Kathi. The sisters are very different and I think that’s like life. Me and my younger sister get on very well but we’re very different people. Although we fell out in the past as sisters always do, these days we don’t and I love her to bits!
LikeLike
Knowing the story of the Prodigal, I have to wonder if these two girls will EVER accept each other. Great start!
LikeLike
Hi Regi. Well I guess you’ll have to read the story when it’s published to find out. 😉
LikeLike